Rick Owens, papal socks, lottery numbers, The Green Lady
Rick Owens, papal socks, lottery numbers, The Green Lady
12 things I've consumed + The Best Thing I Ate All Week
J - Jam, bop, dip, dance
E - Electrolytes after yoga
F - Furrowed brow
E - Embellishments
🌝 12 THINGS I’VE CONSUMED
I’m not a baker. I always mix the dry & wet ingredients incorrectly. Baking is just a hassle, tbh.
I found this Thai tea Basque cheesecake & felt weirdly determined to make it. The recipe is suspiciously easy & the payoff is really tasty. Although I added the Thai tea, that flavor didn’t come through. Highly recommend!
*If you don’t finish your cheesecake, get a pint of ice cream & impersonate a Cold Stone employee. Mix the cheesecake into the ice cream & return to the pint.
🏋️ Rick Owens
🥸 Excerpt: Is a mustache right for you?
Summer is the best season for making the worst decisions, and there are few decisions that are worse for any gender than growing a mustache. Here is a list of 21 point-based questions, the sum of which will indicate how appropriate foliage is for your upper lip:
Do you have an aversion to sex? +1
Do you work in law enforcement in New Mexico, or do you play a highway patrolman in a poorly rated 1980s-era television show set in New Mexico available only on Amazon Prime? +1
Are you Salvador Dali? +1
Do you get older and they stay the same age? +1
Are you Kazakh spy? +1
🎰 Have you ever wondered if your lucky numbers won the lottery?
What would you do if you won the lottery?
A recurring question.
Find out if your lucky numbers have ever won by clicking the link above.
I would buy a first class ticket to Japan & buy a pair Lemaire slippers.
🕺 Cha Cha Real Smooth
Such an endearing film.
Andrew is adrift in post-college uncertainty. He meets Dakota Johnson at a bar mitzvah. As he falls in love with her, he inadvertently becomes the party starter for bar mitzvahs in the town. Oh, she’s a single mom. Oh, she has a fiance. It’s fun. Just watch it.
🟢 The Green Lady
The internet is ablaze with brat green everything: iPod Nanos, a Kate Spade ‘starter pack’, the UK’s Green Party, &, of course, Kamala Harris’s Twitter account. But, as they say, we are merely standing on the shoulders of giants. At 5 feet & age 83, the The Green Lady is immense in her own giggly, buoyant way.
A cherished Brooklynite, The Green Lady is a shimmer of sunlight in an otherwise bleak world. She’s worn green since 1999 & explains, “I continue to wear green because the way I dress makes other people smile."
An Instagram comment dotes: “You are the Beautiful Brooklyn Sprite.” She is.
Let’s celebrate The Green Lady & snap a selfie if you see her.
👩🚀 Dr. Spaceman
“You have no reflexes, your blood tastes like root beer, & some of your bones appear to have vanished.”
🥒 Dirty pickle martini
mm, pickles, mm
*gulped at Forgetmenot
🫧 Why running a dishwasher even twice a day is better than hand washing dishes
New Yorkers excite themselves with small domestic fantasies, specifically central a/c & in-unit washer/dryers.
I’m a realist & understand such appliances are out of my tax bracket. I do, however, think about a dishwasher every evening. Not only are they efficient, but they save 4x more water than hand washing & cut down on bacteria. I’m so close to owning one; I can feel it.
💜 A favorite poem
👕 Steaming
Steam your clothes; look 10x better.
🍨 Letting ice cream soften
Patience is a virtue.
Patience is restraint.
Patience is necessary to best indulge in a few scoops of Alec’s Matcha Chocolate Chip.
I feel very strongly about this. We feel entitled to instant gratification, but ice cream is a perfect occasion to take a pause. You should never have to excavate a pint like you’re using an ice pick. Wait 10 minutes & let the ice cream settle & soften. Now scoop yourself a luscious bite & then another. Repeat.
*The exception to the rule is a Baskin-Robbin’s ice cream cake: the frosting, cake crumb, & ice cream should be frozen like a polar ice sheet. Eat with a fork.
🎤 Norah Jones: Tiny Desk Concert
Norah 4ever.
🎁 3 GOODIES I WANT
🐍 Arizona Sonora Desert Museum shirt - $10
The Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum is reason enough to visit Tucson. Soaring hawks, desert gardens, a cat canyon, a replica limestone cave, & a trail with smelly javelinas, etc. amalgamate into the best museum for a school field trip. As a child, it’s a place of wonderment. As an adult, it’s a place of wonderment.
Plus, they have great merch (ignore Sam Hine).This 90’s tee is so rad, but there are other options here & here. So if you’re a far-flung Tucsonan who holds fond memories of the museum & hopes to chance upon someone else who shares this nostalgia, this is your shirt. It could be the start of a beautiful desert rat love story.
⛪️ Gammarelli’s Cardinal Socks - $26
Am I holier than thou?
Well, I can at least dress a little holier than you with these Italian socks from Gammarelli— the makers of the pope’s socks. Since 1798, Gammarelli has been hand-making ecclesiastical garb. Reinforced at the toe & heel, the Egyptian cotton is spun into a really beautifully colored sock.
You’d be mistaken if you thought these were papal socks (his are white). No, these are reserved for cardinals, but they’re still good enough for me.
NR Ceramics is a South Korean launched in 2018 by artist Lee Nuri. Their approach is to ‘avoid designs that stand out due to over-engineering’ & ‘communicate the value of tranquility by providing a concise and natural blank space.’
I really love the organic shapes, the slight curvature of the bowls & cups. The marbled spoon would be nice for scattering salmon roe on a baked potato, while the glass would be ideal to serve freshly squeezed orange juice.
🦪 THE BEST THING I *DRANK ALL WEEK
A good martini doesn’t kick you in the teeth. Rather, it stirs you with a dizzying pleasure. A bad martini is terrible. A good martini is an oomph of morale.
My emotional equilibrium has been tilted by ______ (politics) lately, & I needed a boost. So I sought direction from the map that constitutes the martini menu at Swan Room.
The Swan Room at Nine Orchard is too impressive to describe, so I won’t. But it is one of my favorite rooms & you should go, too. I sat upon a velvet couch & ordered my favorite martini, the San Sebastian. The San Sebastian is herbal, saline, & peppery. Instead of a standard-issue olive, the drink is decorated with an olive & pepper wrapped in an anchovy. With one big bite & one final sip, I had finished the martini. It was fortifying & balancing & easily The Best Thing I *Drank All Week.
🪤 THE FINAL WORD
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- jefe
First off, I disagree that you are “not a baker”. I love the cookies you bake for me and just thinking of them makes me salivate!