matcha, Mark Ruffalo, magic, naked butts
Mostly similar, a little different
Good evening from the shadows of my apartment!
As I write this Substack into existence, I’m still poking & prodding. I’m borrowing from other newsletters until I Frankenstein my own creation into a breathable being.
Lucky for you, I think the format will encourage more writing so I’m going to get REAL WEIRD WITH IT (your imagination will contort in grotesque & psychedelic ways that didn’t seem heretofore possible, baby!)
🌝 12 THINGS I’VE CONSUMED
🧖♀️ Naked Truths
This is a really fun read to start your day. The author visits a Naturist Gathering (not nudist, click to differentiate between the two), & she details what you’d expect: the history of naturists, her own nerves to unrobe, & the community of sunburnt butts that welcome her for the weekend.
“Down by the lake, I laid on the dock and let my ass cheeks cook in the sun. I flipped over and rolled around a few times, like an all-beef frank at 7-Eleven. The dock rocked left and right in the water. It was great. If this is all it is, I can go home tomorrow. One doesn’t need a week to learn why ice cream is good, or why a massage chair feels better than moving furniture.”
🎢 A Sunset Rollercoaster at Public Records
Public Records runs a daytime cafe, which I consider insider info. The airy, sun-dappled space hums with speakers on par with the adjoining hi-fi record bar’s caliber. Chic Brooklynites, a bathroom with an ever-lit DS&Durga candle. It’s great.
Most crucially, the cafe features a few espresso or tea ‘cocktails’ (my words, not theirs.) Today, I selected my favorite, the Sunset Rollercoaster. It’s a swirl of black tea, orange blossom, yuzu, soda, & punctuated with a cute garnish of Mexican tarragon. It’s truly delightful— a spritz of sunshine, perfectly balanced & not supercharged with caffeine. I love fun bevs (more so as I’m doing dry January), so this will be in high rotation.
*Please note: I’m adamant that New York has awful coffee. Exceptions include colbo, La Cabra, & Sey.
🌝 a poem: Feather River Bulletin, January 1924
He kissed her in the garden
When the moon was shining bright
But she was a marble statue
And he was drunk that night
I love New York City content. In a big city, there are infinite lives lived— so many overlapping storylines, near misses, preserved & constructed histories. It’s why High Maintenance is a favorite show of mine.
I just watched Party Girl, which features Parker Posey throwing warehouse parties, working as a librarian, & ordering ‘falafel with hot sauce, a side order of baba ganoush, and a seltzer.’ She’s so effortlessly cool, the queen of the indies.
🪄 Useless Magic: Lyrics and Poetry by Florence Welch
Ash surprised me with this beautiful book tonight! I first leafed through it at Dashwood Books & had bookmarked it for ages. It’s part scrapbook & part lyrical diary. Now we’re listening to Florence & the Machine, which I highly recommend you revisit. Check out her vid w/ Bill Nighy here.
🥑 A panoply of dips
On NYE, my friends hosted a dip party. Whoever won was crowned ‘The Big Dipper.’ Whoever lost was naturally ‘The Dip Shit.’ I love dips, so this was consummate bliss. Dips included guacamole, an olive tapenade, a few bean dips, an artichoke situation, the essence of sundried tomato, etc.
We like to zig when others zag, so Ash & I made a chocolate mousse with sesame brittle for dipping. To be honest, shocked we didn’t win. Thankfully, I was not a dip shit at midnight.
🛌 A Friends Sleepover
Same night, post-dips. A friend’s sleepover is very fun, highly recommend! What do your friends sound like when they snore? Do they wear mouth tape? What about breakfast: will they make you pancakes?
Friend sleepover ideas: movie night double feature with Bjorn Corn; collage night with too-strong martinis; order XL pizookies for everyone & see who passes out first.
☕️ A New Year’s Day latte in Central Park
Hungover. New Year’s Day. Ash & I grab Blue Bottle on our way to the park. We pass a gym & laugh at their silly adherence to healthful ways. How trite.
The headache intensifies but we reach the park & it’s flawless. We amble for an hour & then return home. I order a bagel sandwich & watch soccer for the rest of the day.
I do this annually to meditate on the past year & envision the next. Some people don’t need such propulsion for self-examination, but this helps me a lot. I’ve filled out a YearCompass for the past 4 years, so it’s cool that I have documentation of goals, desires, frustrations, blah blah. I especially appreciate the buckets of ‘what your year was about.’
Okay, we all know that Emma Stone can dance (see: La La Land), but Mark isn’t as prolifically coordinated. So I was particularly excited when he started moving like he was an understudy in The Nutcracker. Well, not quite.
The first images & videos of The Sphere were pretty sensational. Kinda seemed like a self-indulgent overblown planetarium showcasing a weird Darren Aronofsky flick. Separately, I saw an interview with James Dolan who said something akin to, “It’s like trying to describe what a peanut butter & jelly sandwich is like to someone who’s never had one.” LOL, okay dude.
“My turn. What did I see inside? The soft blue glow and the sense of sound controlled, absorbed by the walls and piped in through hidden speakers. There is facial recognition technology at the entrances; drinks were thirty dollars. It’s a cashless place, so there are “reverse ATMs” tucked awkwardly against walls… There are five robots programmed with a single AI named Aura scattered in the main space, and you can push through the crowds and ask their handlers to direct her attention toward you so that you can ask a question. I met a boy around the age of ten standing in line to see her, and he told me that he wanted to ask her who would win in a fight: Bart Simpson or Young Sheldon… Her answer was awful: Young Sheldon, because he’s a real person and Bart is a cartoon. This, coming from her!)
💬 Margaret Atwood
“Another belief of mine; that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise.”
🎁 3 GOODIES I WANT
🐍 Arizona Guard Dog t-shirt - $19.95
I saw this shirt like 3 years ago in the Tucson airport & it’s a desert riff on ‘beware of dog’ signs. I can’t stop thinking about it. I consider it hilarious, but I don’t think non-T-Locs will appreciate it to the same extent.
🎨 de Gournay - hand-painted wallpaper - more $ than you & I will ever have
As Architectural Digest points out: "If you go to Christie's or Sotheby's and you buy an 18th-century set of panels, you’ll pay something like half a million dollars for them. So, on the assumption that you get the best wallpaper and you install it properly and you look after it properly, you have got quite a valuable asset in the long run. And people can’t steal it easily! It beats having diamonds in the drawer or diamonds in the bank, where you can’t look at them at all."
LOL. Twisted logic but fair if you’re insanely wealthy? Some people want sports cars, some want pizza delivered to the Ritz’s penthouse, & some want to take a rocket into space. I want hand-painted wallpaper.
🍦 Alec’s Matcha Chocolate Chip Ice Cream - $11.99
I’m still investigating my appetite for matcha. I’ve had great matcha at Kettl in Greepoint & Maru in Los Angeles, but I don’t seek it out regularly.
This ice cream is luscious for a few reasons, chiefly the A2 milk & Japanese matcha. A2 milk is supposed to be more digestible for people with lactose intolerance (love dairy inclusivity.) Meanwhile, the Japanese matcha is an earthy counterpoint to the sweetness of the chocolate chunks & fattiness of the dairy.
🦪 THE BEST THING I ATE ALL WEEK
I’m a big lentil lover. It’s easy to cook lentils but not-so-easy to cook lentils perfectly. This past week, Ash made a Molly Baz recipe. A few hacks: Trader Joe’s has pre-cut squash (I hate cutting squash) & frozen packs of ginger (big cheat, not proud.) I know readers of the newsletter are devout fans of the Maillard reaction, so this is your chance to sear some squash on a Tuesday night.
We’ve never made black lentils at home, but they hold their bite in the garlic & gochujang liquid. A lot is going on in this recipe, yet it’s pretty straightforward. Sweetness! Spice! Char! Whole-fat yogurt! Use your leftover gochujang for cookies.
🪤 THE LAST WORD
Phew! This has been a lot for me to put together, but the format feels good right now? Thoughts? I’m excited to shift to Substack (big Substack guy) & I plan on sending out on a more consistent (weekly) basis. Like, subscribe, Venmo me.
- jefe